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The 30 most beautiful, most talked-about, most successful women of the year.

PAST LISTS
[2007] [2008]

 

THE HOT 30 OF 2009

30. RACHEL UCHITEL & TIGER'S HAREM

Rachel was the highest profile of all of Tiger's whores so I decided to place her at number 30. However, this spot also belongs to the many other whores that Tiger has allegedly spent some time with. None of them being half as hot as his wife, but to each his own.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Breasts

29. ARIELLE KEBBEL

Still a little known actress but this beauty, who shares her name with a cartoon mermaid, is on the rise. This is Arielle's first time making the hot thirty but I can guarantee it won't be her last. She managed to make a bigger name for herself this year in The Uninvited and Freakdog.

I once heard her described as looking like the love child of Jessica Alba & Mandy Moore. I couldn't agree more.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Face

28. ZOE SALDANA

I wanted to place her higher on the list this year but the competition was fierce. She did have an amazing year and is finally starting to emerge as the star that she is. Star Trek and Avatar were huge hits and both have sequel buzz surrounding them. This is not the last you've seen of Zoe on the big screen or on this list.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Abs

Check out Zoe's photo & video gallery

27. RACHAEL TAYLOR

That's right, the incredibly hot blonde who had to take the back seat to Megan Fox in the first Transformers film. She's been relatively quiet for a while but this year starred in a few underground films that helped her capture a spot on this list.

Keep an eye out, or both for this insanely hot aussie beauty.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Accent

26. MILEY CYRUS

Ok, so it's a little creepy that she's not quite eighteen yet, but c'mon, Miley's image now is making Madonna blush. This was a huge year for her. A hit sing, "Party in the USA", a hit movie The Hannah Montana Movie, and the best legs on the wrong side of eighteen.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Legs

25. HAYDEN PANETTIERE

Once number one on the hot thirty two years ago, Hayden has fallen but she's not out. She just didn't do much this year. I love You Beth Cooper was less then stellar, and her show "Heroes" is getting so desperate for ratings that they're turning her character into a lesbian.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Face

Check out Hayden's photo & video gallery

24. EMMANUELLE CHRIQUI

Can you believe it's her first time ever on the hot thirty? This Canadian beauty had another watchable year on the very unwatchable "Entourage" as well as roles in the indie flicks Taking Chances and Women in Trouble.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Abs

Check out Emmanuelle's photo & video gallery

23. SOPHIE MONK

Sophie's not on a lot of guy's radars, however, she's turned into a favored hottie to follow on the internet. Each week another set of pictures of her in a bikini would appear to a waiting audience.

Apparently, she is a pop star in Australia as well as being an actress who for the first time bared all in this year's The Hills Run Red.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Breasts

22. AMBER HEARD

Amber is a rising film star. She is one of the hardest working minxes in hollywood. This year alone she starred or appeared in at least five films. If you missed it check out the little seen film The Informers. Amber spends almost all of her scenes naked or having sex with men and women. Can you say Oscar nomination?

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Legs

21. RACHEL NICHOLS

To obtain a spot on the hot thirty Rachel appeared as a green alien in Star Trek. Not many women are prepared to make that sacrifice. She also battled it out with COBRA and tried desperately to fight off a drooling Marlen Waynes in GIJOE: Rise of Cobra. Sacrifice is what it's all about.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Breasts

Check out Rachel's photo & video gallery

20. MIRANDA KERR

Orlando Bloom is the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. I'd cut off my left arm just to smell his penis.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Face

Check out Miranda's photo & video gallery

19. SASHA GREY

The first porn star to ever make the hot thirty. However, this girl does not look like any porn star I've ever seen. In the porn I watched growing up most of the women looked like baseball gloves turned inside out.

Times are changing though and porn stars are getting hotter and more main stream. Sasha made the transition to legitimate actress this year in Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: The fact that she fucks guys on film.

18. KATY PERRY

I'm not really sure why but I find this girl extremely attractive. I know there are way hotter women out there but Katy just has something that makes men bow down, or rather two things.

Katy continues to rise in the music charts showing that she was no one hit wonder, and makes the hot thirty for the second year in a row.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Breasts and the fact that she kissed a girl and liked it

17. BAR REFAELI

One of the fastest rising models in the industry. Bar is gorgeous. There is nothing else to say really, other than I'd love to smell Leonardo DiCaprio's penis...

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Face

16. EMMA WATSON

Guess what folks, she's finally eighteen! No more feeling guilty anymore! Emma's a beautiful girl with an even sexier accent. It's too bad this year will bring to an end the Harry Potter franchise but it will be interesting to see where she takes her career after the Potter mania has ended.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Smile

15. SIENNA MILLER

She made the hot thirty the first year but missed out last year. Now she's back and had a big year starring in GIJOE: Rise of Cobra. She's poised to return next year as rumor has it that her 2010 film roll in Hippie Hippie Shake contains a rather large amount of nudity. 2010 should be a good year for fans of Sienna.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Accent

14. DOUTZEN KROES

I have no idea how to say her name but she's one of the sexiest victoria secret models you'll ever see. She seemed to be every where this year. Marissa Miller look out!

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Name

13. MARISSA MILLER

Oh you thought I spoke to soon. Marissa Miller is without a doubt one of the sexiest women on the planet. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to beat her at modeling underwear.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Everything!

Check out Marissa's photo & video gallery

12. TAYLOR SWIFT

Whether or not you like her music you can't deny her popularity. You couldn't go anywhere this year without hearing one of her songs. What makes her sexy is her seemingly subconscious awkwardness. Taylor appears to be an innocent small town girl being corrupted by hollywood stardom.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Eyes

11. MOON BLOODGOOD

I'd love to date a chick named Moon. How great would that be? Moon became a well known name this year starring in Terminator Salvation and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, but don't hold that against her.

Have you ever known a girl with 6 O's in her name that's not a hooker?

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Name

Check out Moon's video & photo gallery

10. MALIN AKERMAN

Malin's one of the fastest rising stars in hollywood. If you haven't seen it yet check out her drool worthy role of Silk Spectre in 2009's Watchmen. I'd let her break my arm any day!

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Legs

Check out Malin's photo & video gallery

9. ANNALYNNE MCCORD

After coming out of nowhere last year to star on the CW hit tv show "90210" AnnaLynne has become an internet hit as well. Every week you can see her in the sexiest outfits imaginable blowing kisses to you at movie premieres and different events. Not to be undone be the many bikini shots of her that grace the internet throughout the year.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Arms

Check out AnnaLynne's photo & video gallery

8. CARRIE PREJEAN

This year's sexiest bigot award goes to Carrie Prejean. She may be dumb as a post but thankfully intelligence is not a requirement to make the hot thirty. Carrie was full of controversy this year after bashing gays on live tv and having her boobs paid for by the good people of California. I wish some of my tax dollars went to boobs, then I wouldn't feel so bad when I looked at my pay cheque.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: The big cross on her front lawn

7. JESSICA BIEL

Jessica finally showed us all the goods this year in Powder Blue. A mediocre film at best but will go down in history as containing some of the greatest stripper scenes of all time. I salute you Jessica for doing what I think all actresses should at some point in their career, put it all out there.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Ass

Check out Jessica's photo & video gallery

6. ASHLEY GREENE

Her first time on the hot thirty. We finally got to see more of her in this year's New Moon and indie horror flick Summer's Blood. I hope we get to see much more of this sexy minx in the future. Personally, she's a favorite of mine to play Wonder Woman in the film adaptation some say will never get made.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Face

5. KRISTEN STEWART

New Moon kind of sucked, but thankfully Kristen was drop dead gorgeous in Adventureland. I'm really excited to see her make out with Dakota Fanning in next year's The Runaways and there is always Eclipse to look forward too. Go team Jacob!

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: The shy, awkward way that she can't seem to speak in public

Check out Kristen's photo & video gallery

4. KRISTEN BELL

I can't even really describe how sexy Kristen Bell is. She just seems like a really funny and cool chick. An all around girl. One who can have a beer with you while watching football and the next minute throw on a set of pumps and twist around a pole. Sorry I didn't mean to describe my nightly fantasy.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Calves

Check out Kristen's photo & video gallery

3. ELIZA DUSHKU

Can you believe this is her first time making the hot thirty? I had to do it though. I'm not a real die hard fan of her show "Dollhouse" but every week this girl is running around in different outfits and her underwear kicking ass. It's enough to make you're head explode. Unfortunately I think it's been cancelled.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Abs

2. OLIVIA WILDE

Olivia had three of the sexiest photo shoots of the year by far. There isn't too much in this world that's sexier than this girl. Next year she's starring in one of my most anticipated films of the year, Tron: Legacy.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: That flawless face

Check out Olivia's photo & video gallery

1. MEGAN FOX

Can you believe she's never made the hot thirty until now? Most everyone with a penis and some without would agree that Megan Fox is the sexiest woman alive. This girl is so hot she actually makes men angry and try to boycott her. Some even go so far as to try and find flaws on her, like the ones who claim she has grotesque thumbs? I call those people homosexuals.

SEXIEST THING ABOUT HER: Lips, which ones you ask?

Check out Megan's video & photo gallery

 

 


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